Hmmmmmm...... a virgin journal..... just how i like them...soft....clean.. untoched...... I MEAN...... well shit. Guess i gave into my dirty side there... well i just wanted to start off by posting an old random thing i wrote a couple years back to get me into the spirit of Jimbob the Sailor once more... here goes
"Hello all you people! It is I, Jimbob, and I have a new announcement to make. Some of you have heard of my previous expidition, the first sailing of the dreaded Lake Nichada, or as they say in Scotland, Loch Nich. Yes, my friends, unfortunately not many people volunteered to take the historic voyage with me. In fact, I only got one reply, and it turned up to be a monkey. Yes, a monkey. How a monkey was able to sign up for my voyage I do not know...Anyway...Well, it turned out I had to find a "different" crew. And yes there was a reason for the quotations around the "different." Unfortunately, on my piece of shi... I mean beautiful yacht, my crew turned out to be a monkey, a disgruntaled peacock from the Nichada club, and an insane axe murderer. Well, so he wasn't an axe murderer, he only killed by throwing people into the Lake and watching them being eaten by ten foot mutant fish. And, if Ross ever see's this email, no it was not hilarious you sick bastard. Well, off we went on my cobbled together boat my crewmen and I, and we sailed into the sunset. Okay, so it was a wall, but any way, our expedition was off. The first night of the sail was a dreadful. Just as I was watching clouds cover all the stars again, a giant, slimey, forty foot sea cucumber came out of the water and almost knocked over the boat. The sick axe murder thought it would be funny to throw the peacock in and watch it be eaten alive, but was unaware of the dangerousness of a scared peacock. The peacock opened its wings and the murderer fell in, only to be ripped to shreads by smaller fish in front of our eyes. I looked away and then saw the sea cucumber learing over my head. Screaming like a little girl, I dived for cover on the boat, and then watched as the seacucumber hit it's head on the side of the abandoned, half-finished building. It was knocked out and slowly slid down the side of the building, when suddenly a giant plesiasaur 100 ft tall came out and ate the sea cucumber in one gulp. As it slid down into the water, I swear it said "If only I had some ranch dressing with that." Passing out, there eneded the first night...

Well, that's just a preview of my new autobiography, Jimbob and the Crew That Sailed Loch Nich.
Join me next time for more of the exciting book, or order now on Amazon.com with your credit card or check. 7 Pages, with color pictures $2.99 or $3.99 Canadian (does not include shipping)

But on to the reason I am mailing you: I NEED YOU FOR THE SECOND HISTORIC VOYAGE ON LOCH NICH. The first voyage was a failure, with the crew being eaten and my boat being impaled on a rusty piece of rebar. So join my expedition and become one of the few who have sailed the waters of Loch Nich and lived to tell the tale.

EXCITING ATTRACTIONS:
3 Headed Fish
90 ft Goldfish ripe for the professional fisherman's mantle
Ancient, unexplored ruins of a lost civilization (The Abandoned Building) BEWARE OF RAZOR WIRE
Unfinished Building in the middle of the lake!
Bridge to Nowhere - gamble with your life as you jump from it's crumbling sides into bluish and construction equipment infested water
Magnificent refitted group of paddle boats
Diving into unimaginable marine life - Up to 100 ft (30m) deep! complete with buried rebar and forgotton construction man made reefs!
AND MUCH, MUCH MORE

Remeber if you Join the expedition, all this is yours free! (Except Baht 4002.25 application fee). Before my other expedition failed we had some, er... fun. So don't be afraid, JOIN ME and make history!"